It all began on a calm foggy night. All I could see of the moon was a large fuzzy silhouette that gave of just enough light in order to see no more than five feet in front of the car. As I travelled down the dirt road riddled with trees close to each side.
“How much further is it?” asked my brother Alex.
“Shouldn’t be long now.” responded Jacob.
Strangely, we continued the ride in silence for the next couple of miles. When the three of us get together it is normally a non stop rag fest. Being friends since the sixth grade, the filter on our speech has ceased to exist. The longer the silence lasted, the more my thoughts created an anxious tension in my driving.
“You ok?” asked my brother, obviously sensing the tension.
“Ya, I’m ok, just a little nervous about how dense this fog is.” I said slowly, trying to keep my attention on the road.
“I haven’t seen anything this dense since I talked to my little sister this morning!” said Jacob jokingly.
I smiled to myself knowing that joke could have been a lot worse that what it was. When the line is drawn, Jacob likes to find it and then take leaps beyond it.
After passing a four way stop sign and getting back up to speed, my brother turned his head around quickly as if he had seen something. I quickly looked at the rear view mirror on that passenger side that Alex was sitting on to see if I could see anything as well. All I could see was a short black mass as we sped away from it.
“Did you see something?” Jacob asked warily.
“Not sure.” responded Alex. “Could have just been my imagination, but I thought I saw something move across the road really quickly.
I drove on, thinking only of the few dozen miles left in the trip. Ten minutes passed as we continued in the eerie fog. Suddenly we heard a piercing screech off in the distance.
Alarmed, I asked if either Alex or Jacob could see anything thing through the wall of condensation that surrounded us on all sides. As soon as I asked this, I heard a loud thump come from the top of the car causing me to serve back and forth along the road.
Looking up through the windshield, I could see a pair of talon riddled feet and a large wing that looked as if it belonged to a bat, a disproportionately big on at that. The car continued to swerve due to me overcompensating in trying to get us straight again. Eventually we came to a screeching halt thanks to the back end of my car and a large tree.
(Jeepers Creepers: Thoughless Deviant Art)
The last thing that I remember hearing before I passed out was another large thump on the top of the car.
Author’s Note: While reading the Dante’s Inferno unit, it reminded me of a time that me, my twin brother Alex, and my now roommate Jacob were going to a friends house in the boondocks near Moore. The fog was so bad that we literally couldn’t see 5 feet in front of the car. I decided to include a creature in the story that probably would have come from Dante’s Inferno. The description of Geryon in the story Descending on Geryon’s Back and the description of Satan in the story Satan allowed me to come up with the creature in this story.
Bibliography:
Book Title: Dante’s Divine Comedy
Book Author: Tony Kline
Year: 2002
Story Title: Descending on Geryon’s Back
Source: Descending on Geryon’s Back
Book Title: Dante’s Divine Comedy
Book Author: Tony Kline
Year: 2002
Story Title: Satan
Source: Satan
I thought your story was very good. You built up the suspense well by having something run across the road a while before the real encounter. I also liked that you used a type of creature from Dante's inferno in a story that (without the creature of course) had happened in your life. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI liked your story a lot man! I think we've all been in those kind of creepy situations. It's cool that you combined one of your actual memories with one of the monster's from Dante's Inferno. It makes this story really unique and engaging!
ReplyDeleteI really like that you included information from something that happened in your life. I thought that was interesting. I love your relationship with Jacob and you brother. I think it was nice to see the playfulness of your relationship shine through your storytelling. Your story reminds me of so many horror stories kids tell each other to freak one another out. I can’t believe you left us with a cliffhanger! I want to know the rest of the story. Haha. I loved the image of Jeepers Creepers you included. I thought that was very fitting to your story.
ReplyDelete